Both yesterday and today I’ve been in a thump. I’m just so desperate to see and enjoy images of you it’s depressing. I still remember, I think in Oct 2024, you wanted to get up on your own and let me hold you, like we’d done thousands of times before, but your legs were weaker than you expected and when you managed to stand I guess I’d held you a little tighter than you expected and had to help you back down on the couch. Very few nights do I go to  bed without giving you the hug you were hoping for but did not receive, but hugging and urn is just not the same experience.

On another note next Wednesday I’ll be doing a “shadowing” with Jack at a local Hospice center just to experience what I’d signed up for; I’m looking forward to the experience.

Still have not heard back for St T. on being an usher. Just hope someday I’ll get a call.

Had a very busy day yesterday Wed, shopping, gas, returns etc.

The last couple of days I’ve been weeding out and keeping only our “pg” and “PG13” DVDs. the left overs will be donated.

OOPs Scoots just awoke-feeding time.

Not much else to add, still miss you as much as I love you.

I meant it about our Marriage Contract being more than just a “contract” but a “covenant”.

Love you, please pray for me.

Please apologize to the families for not devoting as much time and prayer for the repose of their souls. I hope all of you are in Paradise.

me

08.26.25

I passed both FBI fingerprinting test for St. T and Hospice. Haven’t heard from St. T yet where they want me but I’m sure I’ll get a call soon. I’ve also passed all the tests for Hospice, and I am expecting a call today to work as a sitter under the supervision of a Senior Staff person.

I also spent 2 days at Orlando Health in Orlando. Navigating Orlando was the worse part of the whole ordeal. Arrived home last Wed. and today is Tuesday and I’m just now starting to feel better but still get exhausted very easily.

Joyce is a good caller. She doesn’t call often, but when she does she catches me when I’m having one of my “stuck in a dark room” moods. Her family needs prayers also.

Scoots, as you can see, just being optimistic, is asleep on my rocker and your new plant shows no signs of dying yet.

I’ve begun some new prayers for “the repose of your soul” and am beginning to store up masses of myself, which is something the “living” are supposed to be doing in preparation for Salvation.

I have very little more to say except I still miss you dearly’

I Love you so much. This marriage was presented to us as a contract but it’s more than that to me, it’s a covenant, not to be broken.

Pray for me

I love you

Me

Hi Love,

This day, in my email, in that app “On this day” we spent the day with Jodie and Mark.  I remember  that  day  so  clearly.

I can’t believe how much walking we did that day. Then, to find out, the only way back to the car was to go back the same way we came. Two highlights that day were the Curling Club and the ice cream stand at the edge of the parking lot. Not that that was our only challenge, but our trying to decipher the restaurant menu was challenging as well, settling for a ham and cheese sandwich.

Hard to believe this all happened 11 years ago. Life has changed so much, especially for you. Back then I think we both felt we had a good twenty more years left to enjoy the life style we’d gotten so used to. In so many pictures, if not all our pictures, you always looked so happy. When I say I lost my Joy with your passing, this is just one example of how much joy you brought to my life.

Magog, Canada was so beautiful, glad we enjoyed it together.

I thank Him every day for all the days we had together, only wish there were more.

Love you so much, miss you dearly.

Pray for me

Me

I can’t recall ever being this young. It must have been life at a daycare center that kept us so youthful. Not much is happening this week. I have still not heard from the FBI on my fingerprint testing. MSNBC talks how they’ve been cut back so this must be one on the results of a limited work force.

Nothing much more to say that I can think of.

Still miss you fiercely,

You have my love forever

Pray for me

Me

Sweetheart,

I don’t usually address these memos directly to you but today I felt like doing it. Since no one is ever going to read anything on this blog I  can write on just about everything. I told you about this but I’m sure you cannot listen in on me which means I talking to myself and should be committed. Our Mastercard number got into the wrong hands, I did catch it in time, but the only solution is a new card. So, since last Friday evening I’ve been surviving with no card to use.

Above has nothing to do with my writing to you. I’m just tired and needed a break. I’m tired of everyone saying I look like I’m doing Okay when I’m hurting all over because your not here.

I had to breakdown and go to Walmart and that has to be the worst experience or all. It’s not new, I was feeling like this ever since you were not able to come shop with me. Nearly every isle has an item to remind me of you, It’s not fair. Today it was Twizzlers. Last week was those chocolate Hazelnut cigarette type candy. Feel the same way every day when I go to Mass.

Went for my interview last Friday for Hospice. Maybe if I begin devoting some effort on others I’ll finally start feeling like a human being again. It’s going to take until July 5th to get the results back from the FBI labs, so I will deal with it for the next 30-days.

Please don’t get me wrong, I give thanks for every day I’m privileged to enjoy, if “enjoy” was the right description. I’m working day and night in preparation to be called, but that could be awhile. Months before December 24th. I prayer daily for “longevity.” It wasn’t much longer before I realized what I had wishing for. All I was wanting was the longevity to outlast your illness. It will be just my luck that He will grant me longevity and I’ll reach 100. Should always be careful for what you wish for.

I Love you so much,

Pray for me, talk to you later.

Love, ME

25.08.04-Can you believe 7 months

Sorry abut the sharpness, it’s not my fault. Bluehost only permits 2500 pixels in a photo and this is what you get.

It’s been so busy.

Just, yesterday, I finally came out Negative for Covid, which I’ve been fighting for 2 weeks. Back to my old routine, but I have to get some rest somewhere.

Got Fingerprinted for Hospice today as well.

Scoots has been very understanding. I do believe she’s lost some eight these last 2 week as well.

It’s almost 6pm and scoots is getting anxious for  a packet.

I will try to continue this blog after I feed her.

Off and on I’ve been working on the checkbook. Believe it or not one bank closes its books on the 28th while the other closes on the 16th give or take. Yesterday I was able to “0” them both out at the end to each month. I know, that’s neither here nor there with you, but I am trying hard to keep a healthy balance, but it’s no where close to what it used to be under you watch. But I think it works for me.

Please don’t think, because of the casualness of this note so far that  I’m back in the pink, that will never happen. Pictures of you and us are all over the house with equally as  many handkerchiefs.

I’m still rather lightheaded so I’m going to close and find something to eat.

Will always love you so much, I’m married to you for life.

Love you

Me