May 8, 2025

I just realized the first 3-months after Carla’s death, I was in deep remorse, which was to be expected. Now I find myself in the mist of depression. 2-weeks ago I was actually a little optimistic thinking that my “CAP” scan would come back positive for lung cancer, but that would not be the case; just a clean bill of health.

I pray each day for guidance. There is no doubt in my mind that HE has a plan and my being around is probably key for His plan to come to fruition, so I sit around and wait. Tomorrow Scoots goes to the vet for a check-up. I’m a little apprehensive, only hope she’s lost a pound or two since her last visit. Yesterday I ordered a carpet to try to make this home I’m living look more like a home than a motel room. Very much like the area rugs we had in the Suncruiser Coach back in the day, except it’s a 6×10 not 2×6.Picture to the left was taken in August 2021. Amazing how much the world can change in just 4-years.

So, I will just continue to exist, day after day, in hope of a change. Got an unexpected call from Michael 2-days ago.  He has a major home improvement project he’s involved in that’s getting very pricey. After the call I remembered my thinking of His plan, so I called him back. In our previous call he did not even hint at the thought of asking for financial assistance, guess that’s what I like about Abby. She has not needed much help  over the last 20-years, but it does make me feel good when I can help her a bit. With my call-back I made Mike an offer for assistance, if needed. I thought it was a good deal, no pay-back just a little assistance in 12-months come tax time, but he did not think it would be needed, we’ll see! Time to go and take a Lorazepam before I fall over the cliff.

May 17, 2025 Visiting Abby, Michael and Mckenna 

I was supposed to make this visit on Friday, yesterday, but somehow the day got away from me. Saturday turned out to be an excellent day to travel, with the highways being not that busy. Abby and Michael were as gracious as ever and made me feel right at home. My purpose was 2-fold; to visit and deliver items, mostly Christmas that were personal to Abby. Mckenna showed her delight with having a new playmate toward the end of the visit. She’s going to be a duplicate of  Abby, her mother, and with her height and that of her dads; she’ll be a beautiful grown-up. I would like to say that I hope to have the privilege to see the grown-up version, but I have little to no interest in longevity any more. This statement is difficult to make after my having such a delightful visit with all of them yesterday.