Sweetheart,

I don’t usually address these memos directly to you but today I felt like doing it. Since no one is ever going to read anything on this blog I  can write on just about everything. I told you about this but I’m sure you cannot listen in on me which means I talking to myself and should be committed. Our Mastercard number got into the wrong hands, I did catch it in time, but the only solution is a new card. So, since last Friday evening I’ve been surviving with no card to use.

Above has nothing to do with my writing to you. I’m just tired and needed a break. I’m tired of everyone saying I look like I’m doing Okay when I’m hurting all over because your not here.

I had to breakdown and go to Walmart and that has to be the worst experience or all. It’s not new, I was feeling like this ever since you were not able to come shop with me. Nearly every isle has an item to remind me of you, It’s not fair. Today it was Twizzlers. Last week was those chocolate Hazelnut cigarette type candy. Feel the same way every day when I go to Mass.

Went for my interview last Friday for Hospice. Maybe if I begin devoting some effort on others I’ll finally start feeling like a human being again. It’s going to take until July 5th to get the results back from the FBI labs, so I will deal with it for the next 30-days.

Please don’t get me wrong, I give thanks for every day I’m privileged to enjoy, if “enjoy” was the right description. I’m working day and night in preparation to be called, but that could be awhile. Months before December 24th. I prayer daily for “longevity.” It wasn’t much longer before I realized what I had wishing for. All I was wanting was the longevity to outlast your illness. It will be just my luck that He will grant me longevity and I’ll reach 100. Should always be careful for what you wish for.

I Love you so much,

Pray for me, tale to you later.

Love, ME